Grit & Wonder

#16 Moving out of Success Paralysis

I am convinced that the obsessive pursuit of success can cast a spell on you that causes you to loose the ability to move your geniousness-muscles and that prohibits access to those yummy parts of your brain where the creative juices are flowing. This usually happens when success seems to be the only alternative to FAILING. And when failing equals DEATH to our nervous system - we are in fact fighting and flighting our way up that steep, steep lather like we were running away from a lion. 
And… how long can you run away from a lion? 
So - my suggestion is not to NOT CARE about success anymore. Or to miraculously start loving to fail.(Coz how well is that usually working when you tell yourself to just STOP doing something you have been doing or believing for most parts of your life?)And also - achieving and pursuing a goal can be so so FUN. 
We just need to talk about the how!Therefore - in this weeks episode on the podcast I am offering ways how to define success YOURSELF. Because - why should you care about succeeding if what you are trying to succeed in you don´t care about???Although this might sound like a big face-palm moment - it’s a huge power move, and profound work to turn the „being-defined-from-the-outside“ into defining yourself! 
We will also talk about why it can be fun to turn a desired achievement into measurable numbers and what it does if you view success as a FEELING! 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

#15 Networking Ease

So - if you are an artist, designer, entrepreneur in the creative sector… chances are REALLY hight, that you think you suck at networking.Like with a capital S.On top of that the mere thought of „SELLING, CONVINCING, ATTENTION-GRABBING“ gives you these gut-wrenching Uaghh-feels. However you are convinced that on the other side of networking lies success, so you MUST be doing it too! Leaving you with this fabulously draining guilt, self-loathing, tension, push-pull - cocktail resulting in > many many missed opportunities & award interactions at best. Sounds familiar? 
Now - I am pretty sure though, that you are also that person that can’t stop nerding out about the details of the creation process, the peculiar findings you made during the research phase, the references and associations that make this work so meaningful to you to a genuinely interested friend. You are hungry for feedback and endless discussions with peers about context, process and stages of iteration. You LOVE what you do. You CARE about the impact it has on people. And WANT to connect to other humans through the work. 
Well my friend - you actually have ALL IT NEEDS to become excellent at networking!What is tripping you up are only a couple of shitty thoughts - your IDEA of what it takes to network successfully. And this is costing you a ton of amazing connections, inspiring exchanges, so much more visibility and so much more CASH. 
Tune into this weeks episode to figure out HOW to become that person who never wants to miss an opportunity to put yourself out there again!
In this weeks episode you will learn:
Why you actually don’t have to SELL YOURSELF… like EVER
Why creating CONNECTION is the number one GO TO, most effective and (almost) only thing you need to do when networking
How you getting in your own way is also a big loss for the rest of us
That networking MORE does not mean networking with EVERYBODY 
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.
 

#14 How to Set a Boundary - Not a Barbed Wire Fence

I will cut right to the chase.There is a way to set boundaries that actually create a stage for MORE CONNECTION rather than a loss of love.And the fear of loosing love is the number one reason why people are not setting them in the first place.Why they say YES when they wanna say NO.
The believe that people will love you more when you let them have their way is what gets in the way for so many of us to actually communicate our needs, wishes and limits. 
However - as we know by now… actions alone never solve the issue. If it would be as easy as telling you to „JUST say NO when you want to say NO… and stop saying YES when you don’t mean it“… we would not all be here, looking for answers! Without tackling the root cause of those (deeply human) people-pleasing tendencies I see people sway ALLLL the way to the other side. And turn from doormat into barbed-wire-high-security bunker.
As long as you still operate from a place of thinking that others create your feelings or that you could manipulate how others feel about you…(In order for YOU again to feel better about yourself. What!? How f** complicated are we making human relating… I know!!)…This whole saying NO and setting boundaries thing is gonna be messy, filled with entitlement, disappointment and hostility. 
I am convinced that you actually DON´T have to deem anyone toxic, unhealthy or narcissistic in order to ask for what you need and draw consequences when your actual safety (physical, emotion, spiritual) is endangered. Tune into this weeks episode to learn how to overcome the fear of loosing connection with other in order to set clear boundaries form a loving place without the drama and the parent of high emotional tolls. 
 
In this episode you will learn:
How to set a boundary from a clean, loving, no-drama place
Why people-pleasing dynamics need to be addressed FIRST
What’s the difference between communicating wishes, needs and desires and setting a boundary
How boundaries are NOT threats or a way to manipulate others 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.
 

#13 What am I Doing and Why? A Roadmap through BIG QUESTIONS Terrain

Did you already jump on the lets-set-goals and hopefully get-our-shit-together-finally bandwagon?
I love goals - I truly do! They are such an amazing opportunity for growth.However - if you set goals in the hope that purpose, meaning and that sense of fulfillment, which you so deeply crave will enter the scenery… I am afraid you started at the wrong end of planning your trip! 
If you are anything like me, your head is pounding you with finding ANSWERS TO THE BIG WHATS AND WHYS AND HOWS of life. And I really want you to be less at the mercy of these big gaping black wholes of wonder. 
Therefore, in this weeks episode, I want to offer you some navigations tools when embarking into the muddy grounds and tumultuous waters of THE BIG QUESTIONS. As we all know - they can easily lead to year-long existential crisis (hello lock-downs). And nothing against crisis! Burning it all down has its own charm at times. However - I feel a lack of discernment when we talk about things like PURPOSE, CAUSE & GOALS adds lots of unnecessary confusion and hence suffering!These terms are being used interchangeably - and in my opinion they operate on very different levels and have DIFFERENT functions!
What you will learn from this episode:
why goals are helpful but not the point
how your purpose is nothing that can be found only uncovered
why your cause is what will make other people join in on your project… or not
that you start planning a journey according to which vehicle you have at your disposal! 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact
Or book a consult HERE.
 

#12 Can I Actually Fake it Till I Make it?

I mean - you can have a fake mustacheAn actually nonexistent, hence fake boyfriendA fake life on Social that is vastly different from your actual experience. 
However - when it comes to you throwing yourself into something NEW, that you have not ever done before I would never call however you end up acting or performing FAKE but rather TAKING A BRAVE LEAP.  
A brave leap of believing in your ability to learn and figure things out despite NOT having any evidence for your ability to DO THIS THING! Now - that is bold.
Speaking in front of 2000 people without having any comparable experience from your PAST to draw upon.Becoming an entrepreneur when you have been an employee all your life. Living into the the identity of being a piano player without ever having touched the instrument before. 
Everything radically NEW in your life starts from a choice that is based on nothing else then BELIEVING.No evidence to back that up. 
Will that maybe feel fake and inauthentic to yourself or people around you in the beginning? FOR SURE. But is it a sign that you are doing something morally despicable? NO.A sign for you to go back to the old known YOU and stop the UNFOLDING? NO!!!
In this weeks episode I will walk you through the discomfort of braking the mold of what you though was YOU!SO - yes! You can fake it till you make it - in fact I think you SHOULD! Just … that I would not call this faking - but rather being f*** courageous 
What you will learn in this episode:- Why showing up authentically is no moral obligation and will potentially keep you stuck - the difference between pretending and learning to embody something new - How defining WHO YOU ARE based on your past experiences will limit your future options dramatically - Why I think you will never reach your potential (and that´s a good thing!) 
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.
 
 
 
 
 
 

#11 The FUCK-YESS Paradigm

This week on the podcast we divorce from NICE. We ditch OK. We are not going along with the WHY NOT option anymore. 
Why? If you say yes to NICE…The kind of sweet boyfriendThe not-bad flatThe could-be-worse project
 … the whole system will be clogged with no space left for squeaky-colorful, juicy-bubbly, chewy-yummy, I-could-die-now AMAZING. 
Is AMAZING morally superiors or „better“ than NICE? NO.
But do I wish you being in awe of the magic of life and being ecstatic in the face of your own existence more often? FUCK YESSS!
And FUCK YES is also what we gonna do!I will teach you in this weeks episode how to make space for FUCK YES choices and what it takes to create them. 
What you will learn from this episode:- why saying NO to nice is way harder than declining stuff you already know you don´t want - how consent is a crucial part when coaching yourself (do I actually WANT to change my mind about this?) - how the FUCK YESS Paradigm requires an identity shift- why it is important to value, listen to and only then chose HOW to react to your first, unfiltered responses 
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

#10 The Always-Happy-Myth Debunked

I mean there are legit reasons for being full on addicted to Happiness.And to make its pursuit your all day purpose.Who would not want MORE of those yummy hormones coursing through your veins!! In fact we are evolutionary wired to SEEK pleasure as much as possible. We just can't help it.
And in a world where a hit of serotonin is literally a finger-click away the idea that one could STAY in this state of bliss ALL THE TIME makes sense.
However - there is big big catch to it. 
WANTING to be happy 24/7, deeming it possible, and even worse - taking archiving it as a sign of superiority, of „having it all figured out“ stands in crass contrast to HOW WE ACTUALLY FEEL. 
I am convinced that wanting to be happy 24/7 is one of the main reasons for being UNHAPPIER than necessary if anything!
WHY?Coz in any moment you are having a full human experience. Meaning ALL the colors showing up - and happiness being only one of the many.Also when you are on holidays.Also wenn you have that houseAnd those wonderful people around… 
And making ALWAYS-HAPPINESS a standard you try to life up to creates a lot of story and judgment about to the experience and the feelings you are ACTUALLY having right now! NOT NECCESSARY!
Tune in to this weeks episode to hear me rant about WHY I think the ALWAYS-HAPPINESS is so toxic and disempowering and the concepts I would love to offer instead.Let’s stop chasing happy and start being humans!
Thanks! And I talk to you over there 💕
What you will learn from this episode:- What’s the 50/50 concept by Brooke Castillo- that your feelings are what makes you human - what happens if you allow your feelings to just be there instead of taking them as sings for your brokenness! - why happy alone is f*** boring! WHY get stuck in happy? Like really… WHY?? 
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to:  mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

#9 Feelings are Wealth - How to Coach Yourself PART 2

Oh dear!I am so fired up about this topic.
Coz let’s be honest - what have you learned about HOW TO FEEL? What has been modeled to you when you were little? 
I assume something like - „we love you most when you are a little bit happy and friendly without the edges so you don’t confront us with our own emotional depths and wounds that we have absolutely no damn idea how to deal with. If you DO however escape this narrow window of expression that we deem appropriate for you, we will dismiss you, tell you off, ignore it …“ 
And then we grow up and internalize those voices! And have NO relationship to our feelings. 
It is mind boggling to me how we humans are FEELING things ALL THE F*** TIME and have been taught to be ashamed of most of it. And shame always works like an electric fence of „don’t go there“! 
 
***BTW! Please go check out ALL of David Bedrick´s work on Un-shaming our emotions. His work is a real paradigm shift of how we look at healing, therapy and trauma work as a way to meet yourself and your strengths instead of „healing“ you into a socially more acceptable version. 
This is his homepage: https://www.davidbedrick.com/And go find him on Instagram: @david.bedrickYou won’t regret it! ****
 
What has started when we were little continues in our adult lifes - strong emotions are mostly seen an inconvenience, a problem, something to deal with neatly on your own. ESPECIALLY in a business context.
No wonder we are at war with our internal landscape. Trying to rid ourself of them completely or to control them at best. 
And, let’s be honest - has that EVER actually worked? 
Regardless the answer - I don’t even know why we would want to?Feelings are the most real thing we have - A SENSATION IN YOUR BODY.The stuff that LIFE is made of!
And in this weeks episode I will talk about why we are so afraid of FEELING.And offer you 2 powerful practices to befriend those magnetic waves that we so often are desperately avoiding. 
What you will learn from this episode: - how to become your own compassionate witness- why we usually don’t even know how we really feel - how to process your feelings- what you can do to remove your stories ABOUT the feelings that create so much additional suffering 
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a free 30 min Coaching Session with me HERE.

#8 Facts Versus Story - How to Coach Yourself PART 1

How crazy ist ist that we all run around with a brain that is chirping and chatting and often unfortunately yelling at us all day long, determining the quality of our lives and NO ONE HAS ACTUALLY TAUGHT US HOW TO USE IT? Most of us are on autopilot! Believing every damn thing that our brain burps into our ears. It’s like driving without a license! It goes well if you are lucky… but mostly its very painful! 
So lets get to work and learn how to freaking use our mind consciously! It’s THE ONE thing that drastically improved the quality of my life - and its for FREE!!You can work with your mind wherever you are, regardless of the digits on your bank account. 
We will begin with learning how to distinguish between events, that happen in the world and the meaning that you give to them.Why that matters is because depending on the interpretation of your circumstance you will have a different emotional experience.
This means that life is not just happening to you - but that you are are a powerful creator and the one that writes your story. 
But in order to use this insight to our benefits and actually start making purposeful choices we need to build the awareness muscle and become or own compassionate observer and witness. 
Tune into this weeks episode to find out how!
In this episode you will learn:- how moving from blaming others for your misery to blaming yourself is not a step forward! - What is a thought download- why it is so important to approach our own minds from a place of curiosity and compassion - what are circumstances VS your interpretation of them - how to create SPACE between an event and your experience of it- how to become more granular in distinguishing and relating to our feelings 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

#7 Firing Freelance Masochism

When I started out as a freelance artist I just wanted my living costs to be covered so I could make art full-time. That meant I needed to make money WITH my art, right? But - f**k, I never wanted to sell myself! All things business and money felt a little yucky and meant for others - NOT for me. Convinced that in the altruistic spheres of expanded horizons money was a problematic burden I also felt entitle do being paid WELL for what I do… just because.  
I was basically resisting a system that I simultaneously resented for not providing for me. And yes - it was as much of a confusing struggle as it sounds like. I was basically driving with the hand break still pulled. On top of that everything was personal. Every opportunity granted as well as every funding that did not come through meant something about ME and was a valid judgement wether I am good at what I do or not, wether I have a place in this industry or not. And the pressure of the idea that without me DOING shit, the whole thing would come to a halt altogether, was crushing! 
OK! You get the picture.
Regardless if you are an artist - I know that lots of this sounds familiar to you if you are in self-employed land! 
Tune in to this weeks episode to learn how to detect those masochistic dynamics in yourself and what you could create and focus on instead. I compiled a fine selection of the most powerful mind-set shifts that have completely changed my relationship to work and money and allow me to create from a much more spacious, graceful and purposeful place. I want to show you how you can BE IN CHARGE! 
What you will learn in this episode:- how working from an employees mindset is hurting you - that you are never actually paid for your time - why linking up your worthiness with how successful you are is a f**g toxic combination - what’s the difference between a freelance attitude and an entrepreneurial mindset - how to co-create with your business 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.
Xoxo Mirjam