Grit & Wonder

You know that you have entered the incredibly vast, intricate and devious realm of psychological games when PLAYING is anything else but FUN. We all have been there. That moment when you realize that you have been sucked into someone else’s malicious plot. You feel tricked, betrayed… and stuck AF. Coz no matter in which direction you might move - someone will get hurt, something will break. You have been set up to FAIL.
According to Eric Berne, founder of Transactional Analysis, we play games in order to get a core need of ours met. Games enter the arena when just SAYING what you want seems to be off the menu and we are convinced our desires can only be fulfilled through INDIRECT manipulation. And, yes - you guessed it. Those (clearly subconscious) behavioral patterns are one of those ghosts haunting us from our early days on the planet. 
In this weeks episode I will thus use the perspective of Transactional Analysis to talk you through what PSYCHOLOGICAL GAMES are, what makes them so painful for everybody involved, why we play them in the first place and most importantly - HOW TO GET OUT of such dynamics!!
Get your needs met baby. Stop the games! 
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE. 

Encountering a … PROBLEM - involuntarily sets off the urge to get rid of it. ASAP.We want to have it solved - NOW.Not actually because the problem is a problem - but because we usually feel a tremendous amount of tension when considering something an ISSUE. Their existence inflicts pain - and our reptile brain wants to get out at any cost. Thanks to this perceived threat our brain is lightning-fast in judging whether we have a square or round shaped problem and will try to find a fitting peg from our archive of proven solutions - to get the job DONE. YES - Our brains are problem solving miracles… And this saves a tremendous amount of time! HOWEVER, this strategy does not work when a problem is NEW to you, or society at large. It especially does not work in complex environments, where how A leads to B is not longer obvious. Which is the case more often than not lately, to put it mildly.  In this week’s episode I want to share with you how to FIRST get rid of problems that are not yours to solve - saving you shit ton of time and energy. And SECOND how to apply principles from Agile Innovation Methods to actually withstand the urge to soooollvve the problem and begin with exploring the issue as if it were a fascinating SPACE.  If you have not listened to #27 HOW TO LISTEN, I highly recommend you do that - as this is the base for any meaningful innovation! 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
 
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

Whenever we take on a bigger project, lead larger teams or move into more complex work-territories it very often puts us in a „everything-is-a-life-threatening-calamity! If I don´t act NOW we will all sink and die“-state.Leading to exhaustion, self-doubt and a lot of bad decisions.
Let’s say you are a really good sailor in the Mediterranean Sea and have decide to now embark on a new journey out into the Atlantic Ocean. You will probably struggle at first! Its not the nature of the beast though that is out of control here.The Atlantic just is what it is - a body of water with way wilder and bigger waves than the Mediterranean Sea. You just haven’t gathered the skills and nervous system capacity yet to ride those new amplitudes with as much grandeur as the calmer seas. And it’s the absent of skill / capacity what makes everything seem urgent!  In this episodes I will talk you through how to switch off some of the alarm bells without actually going out there fixing problems. How to discern between urgent and important, how to keep the long term vision in mind and what it means to expect the unexpected. 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

We all know that there are galaxies between the involuntary perception of those hissing sounds bubbling out of someones mouth in the form of words and actually extracting MEANING from this noise. MEANING that when woven in the service of wanting to understand someone or something deeply can lead you through the labyrinth of chatter to the core of a matter. The underlying cause, drive, motivation, need, desire…
And this is crucial if you are leading a team, if you want to connect to a partner or are creating a solution for a real human problem. You don’t wanna act on or solve for WHAT somebody says. But on what actually drives them. You want to get to the underlying need - which might be hidden to the person you are dealing with themself!And for that you gotta learn HOW. TO. LISTEN. DEEPLY. …You need to find that read thread first to release Ariadne. 
It has everything to do with from which SPACE and with which MOTIVATION you are listening. Our brain is a powerful filtering machine, that when gone unchecked will discard any bit of information that does not have to do with our own survival…So yes - you can easily hear gazillions of brilliant people speak without ever learning anything NEW (That’s how powerful our mind is). 
Listen on to this weeks episode to hear more on how to break the SPELL and on how to find the loose end of, following and weaving MEANING with the red thread.
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

In this episode I wondered - what if those GO-TO solutions that our brain comes up with when facing a difficult situation are the exact reason for our stuck-ness? The source of what creates MORE OF THE SAME. And Probably more of the current problems as well?
The strategies that have served us well, the stories we tell about ourselves (like… I am not disciplined enough) - they totally work sometimes.But they tend to take up lots of space until they seem to be the ONLY solution or way to see yourself. 
Or let me put it this way: Whenever you direct your light of attention onto ONE (or even a couple of) thing(s) - ALL THE OTHER things now lie in the shadow!!And the longer you stay with that one focal point - the more sure you can be that there is MUCH ELSE to explore.
I will introduce you to a technique I call TUNING to spot those habits and use them as a point of orientation to explore the OPPOSITE! Which is usually a BLIND spot :D
Not because it’s better to have less blind spots.. but because it will set you on a journey to acquire more TOOLS and different patterns to use consciously when you see them fitting. So that you won’t try to mend your cloths with a hammer… 
 
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a FREE mini coaching Sessio HERE.

Remember as a kid when you really wanted some candy before dinner?And your mom would not let you have some because… it does not make sense. And you don’t NEED it. 
As grown ups - many of us still relate to our WANTS as if there was a mom telling us off for desiring what we don’t actually NEED.How this is playin out then in our inner emotional landscape is us today looks like spending lots and lots of brain power guilt tripping about WANTING something in the first place and secondly finding seemingly logical (let me tell you they are never logical!) reasons for why we actually really NEED the thing we want so bad. 
So wer are squeezing your dreams and wishes into the very very small „I believe I NEED this“ box in the hope that THEN it will feel SAFE to go after what we most DESIRE. But…NEEDING and WANTING /DESIRE have very little in common. The neat Venn diagram we so desperately try to produce in our minds does not exist. Simply because NEEDING something implies a purpose or a goal. I need a match if I want to light a candle. I need a computer to write an email.
When it comes to our lives - what do we really NEED?… to survive? A bit of grain and a tent…?If you are reading this email - you most likely got that covered  (which is amazing btw! And something not to take for granted!) There IS REALLY NO OVERLAP with your desires though - and its ok.
In this episode I want to clean up those mind-contortions disguised as „voice-of-reason“ and give your full permission to OWN what you WANT. Viel SpaßBussi Mirjam 
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

WISH DAY is a practice I developed for everybody who wants to re-calibrate their relationship with their own DESIRES, WISHES and WANTS by feeling safe around having them in the first place! 
WHY? Coz the reality of how most of us think about our desires stems from a deep distrust in our ability to be with them and / or fulfill them in a way that does get us in trouble and sounds something like: „Its a bottom less pit! I am greedy AF! I will never have enough! I am def. not to be trusted with any of it - so lets just not even get started!! This way no one gets hurt!“ 
Let’s change this! Tune in for all the juicy details on the practice and start wishing away today :DI cannot wait for you to open the floodgates of goodness!
 

We keep To Do Lists in the hope that one day we will be DONE. It’s a tool we often religiously use in the hope to finally be on TOP of things not noticing that our list have long taken the seat at the steering wheel ruling US. 
In this weeks episode we will explore what your subconscious mind is convinced you will FEEL like once you have completed all your tasks (it is one of our favorite places for escape fantasies! Let me assure you!) instead of RUSHING to this imaginary finish line (which btw… would probably mean you were DEAD!). 
And since we are at it - why do we call it TO DO lists??Who cares about people DOING things, being busy? Has this ever really got you somewhere in the first place? And who decided that thing was a thing that NEEEEEDED to be done?  
Time to get in charge. 
Tune into this weeks episode to tag along as I walk you through many different ways of how to approach da lists and how I use them for MY purposes.
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

No - this is not a manual on how to be LESS insecure! If this is what I were offering here - I would agree with your story, that insecurity is a problem.
And this is where we will begin in this weeks episode:Wiggling a little at that deeply rooted believe that insecurity is UNPROFESSIONAL. If this is you I would love to offer you following questions (for the sake of the wiggling):What is YOUR definition of professionality? How would you love others to show up in the work context? What behaviors would open up a business situation? What would allow for more REAL you to express?
Wonderful. 
Then comes a plot twist…Coz when we are insecure - we are usually dying for one thing in particular: EXTERNAL VALIDATION!In the form of hoping that other people will take us seriously, will agree with us, love our content etc…Which usually sounds very innocent and like you really CARE FOR THE OTHER.Something like…„I really want them to have a transformative experience during my workshop“ 
However what is really going on when you are looking for relieve of your insecurity in the reaction of the other:The whole interaction actually becomes about YOU!Yes - you read that correctly. You scan what’s going on in that moment for signs that they ARE taking you seriously, that they in fact DO approve of your content… You are not actually present, as in listening, feeling out the room… for the good of your client. Which would then allow you to really show up with care for who you want to serve (if that is what you want!). 
Listen on for more intricate side effects of NOT owning our insecurities!
 
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.
 
 

This is an invitation to meander with me and ponder about the non-linearity of timelines (or then… time waves, vortexes and spirals) that the magic act of CREATION holds for us. And - yes I am also talking to YOU, with the so-called non-creative, practical business! (If you need to continuously adapt and change to shifts in the market - you are also CREATING!) 
What is mostly talked about is the CONTAINER aspect of projects.How much money, time, how many people when and where… So Important. So necessary. Without cash, time and skill allocated NOTHING is going to happen.
However - the kind of project-management side of things is already getting lots of airtime.No wonder - it is so easily accessible with our devices, logical mind and spreadsheet obsession. 
But what about the CREATING itself? I mean - without the actual JUICE the stuff around it renders itself obsolete. And the big problem I see is that the creation process is often approached and conducted with the same mindset with which we set up the framework. 
NO!!! Please! That literally sucks out the joy and life of what could be a wondrous adventure and f*** it just does not work this way. I mean - you will still squeeze out SOMETHING. But it will have the flavor of the white knuckling it costed you to push it out. It won’t carry your oh so special scent and glimpses of your genius.  
In this episode we will talk about how you can OPEN space for co-creating with and learning THROUGH your project, wondering and surprises. How to get messy and endulge in non-linear timelines.
For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com
Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.