#14 How to Set a Boundary - Not a Barbed Wire Fence

I will cut right to the chase.
There is a way to set boundaries that actually create a stage for MORE CONNECTION rather than a loss of love.
And the fear of loosing love is the number one reason why people are not setting them in the first place.
Why they say YES when they wanna say NO.

The believe that people will love you more when you let them have their way is what gets in the way for so many of us to actually communicate our needs, wishes and limits. 

However - as we know by now… actions alone never solve the issue. 
If it would be as easy as telling you to „JUST say NO when you want to say NO… and stop saying YES when you don’t mean it“… we would not all be here, looking for answers! 
Without tackling the root cause of those (deeply human) people-pleasing tendencies I see people sway ALLLL the way to the other side. 
And turn from doormat into barbed-wire-high-security bunker.

As long as you still operate from a place of thinking that others create your feelings or that you could manipulate how others feel about you…
(In order for YOU again to feel better about yourself. What!? How f** complicated are we making human relating… I know!!)
…This whole saying NO and setting boundaries thing is gonna be messy, filled with entitlement, disappointment and hostility. 

I am convinced that you actually DON´T have to deem anyone toxic, unhealthy or narcissistic in order to ask for what you need and draw consequences when your actual safety (physical, emotion, spiritual) is endangered. 
Tune into this weeks episode to learn how to overcome the fear of loosing connection with other in order to set clear boundaries form a loving place without the drama and the parent of high emotional tolls. 

 

In this episode you will learn:

• How to set a boundary from a clean, loving, no-drama place
• Why people-pleasing dynamics need to be addressed FIRST
• What’s the difference between communicating wishes, needs and desires and setting a boundary
• How boundaries are NOT threats or a way to manipulate others 

For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to: 
mirjam@soegner.com

Find me on instagram @school_of_impact
 
Or book a consult HERE.